journey to raw health

 Even though this is a relatively new blog, when I began to write I thought that I would be sharing my experiences with changing my eating habits to include more and more living and raw foods, and my journey with addiction. These could broadly be interpreted as personal development. Alas, I feel compelled to  mention the forbidden, since learning about the below information.

I just finished reading a book by Glenn Greenwald, “How Would A Patriot Act? defending American Values from a President Run Amok”. I also watched the DVD by Aaron Russo, “AMERICA, freedom to facism“.

I believe that ALL Americans should be reading this book, watching this DVD,  and then the US Constitution and the Bill of Rights.

I believe that ALL Americans should research the beginning of the Federal Reserve Bank, the IRS and the deliberate illegal collection of income tax on private citizen’s labor. I believe the Federal Reserve Bank should be abolished, and we, the United States of America should return to a money backed by gold and silver standards, as we did until the establishment of the Fed by private bankers. They have bankrupted this country with fiat money and stolen all of our gold. Services have always been traded, value for value, thus the reason why coins began to appear which maintained an intrinsic value. Trading for a service became more diverse because you could trade with coins rather than another service. To move to a system of printed paper money that is backed by nothing but DEBT, creates indenturement. We, the people, have become slaves to debt, from the moment of our birth, we are paying the interest on the money printed by the Federal Reserve and charged to the US of A. Our Founding Fathers cautioned of a central banking system. Have we not been paying attention? or are we so caught up in consumer madness that we actually buy into the idea of the convenience of a moneyless system? never carry cash, have everything you purchase recorded in a paperless system that can delete you with the push of a button. I do not care how boring or mundane your life might be that you do not care if someone is silently collecting data about your consumer habits, we live in a country that prides itself on individual Freedom. It is No ones business what I purchase, where, or when. As a law abiding citizen, I have the right to live my life in Peace, to own land and make a living. The Law of the Land protects me from my government spying on me, or arresting me, without just cause. And even then, I deserve a phone call. (excuse me, I think Bush took that away in the name of freedom!)

I would venture to say that the majority of Americans do not know that the Federal Reserve is NOT part of our government, but, a private, powerful entity who has been taking us to the cleaners, so to speak!

I believe that ALL Americans should study the importance of VOTING, register to vote in your local elections and vote for anyone that is NOT owned by a lobbyist. There should be NO campaign contributions.  We, the people, have the power of the Vote. At this point in time, that is about all we have! And the powers to be are betting that we will Not use that power and vote them all out of office!

There is little difference between the Democrats or Republicans. They are for themselves and care little for the common, working man. There are 2 exceptions that I know of running for the Presidency next year, Rep. RON PAUL and Dem. DENNIS KUCINICH. Together, they would make a fantastic team. With a joint vision of a Department of Peace, the abolishment of the Federal Reserve and return of the US to a money system backed by gold and silver standards, the elimination of the IRS and illegal income tax on labor; we may be able to bring this country back to the great nation it once was. I will be registering as a Republican for the first time in my voting history, and casting my vote for Ron Paul in the Primary.

Can we visualize a world of Peace? Can we make the committment to cause no harm, to anyone or anything? That sure would solve alot! think about it…

Tags: government, U S Constitution, Ron Paul, patriotism, voting, Love, acceptance, Peace by Deborah
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I was browsing a particular mail order catalog for the first time today. I enjoy seeing what other artistic folks are creating and came across an item for sale that touched me. I thought, gee, if everyone decided to adopt this Alphabet for Life, what a wonderful world it would be!

Accept differences. Be kind. Count your blessings. Dream. Express thanks. Forgive. Give freely. Harm no one. Imagine more. Jettison anger. Keep confidences. Love truly. Master something. Nurture hope. Open your mind. Pack lightly. Quell rumors. Reciprocate. Seek wisdom. Touch hearts. Understand. Value truth. Win graciously. Xeriscape. Yearn for peace. Zealously support a worthy cause.

It certainly is worth the effort!

  It can be found for purchase at www.acaciacatalog.com.  Or print it on a piece of paper and carry it around with you. It can fit on an index card, propped up on your nightstand, so you can look at it before turning out the light.

fyi, I am not an affiliate of acacia, although I did think about it. 

Tags: Light, forgiveness, acceptance, Law of Attraction, Hope, Peace, Love, life experience by Deborah
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Today, I have few demons. I am filled with gratitude every morning when I wake up and I count my blessings before falling asleep each night. As the days pass, I will postdate the rest of my journey to the present, but, I feel I must also speak of  today. My journaling of my struggles is a way of putting them to rest, so to speak. My past was a huge part of my life. But, I am not that self-destructive person anymore. It has been difficult to recall and write of some of the behaviors. For many years, I was filled with shame about how I lived. It has been emotionally draining to remember some of my stories. The truth is that all those parts of me have made me who I am today. I feel more whole now than I ever have.

I want whoever reads this to know that there is hope. If you have a thread of hope, hold on to it. And ask for help. It is there. The Light is waiting for you, as it waited for me. The more we focus on the Light, the quicker the Darkness will fade. It will lose strength and the Light will win. We have to want it, we have to dream, be grateful for the baby steps of progress and move forward. For too many years I hung on to the past. It gets heavy and will suck you back in if you let it. Reach out and give back. Let go of the fear and embrace the Love.

I decided to start this blog to get all of this stuff out of my head. I want room for the Joy to take up all the space that I filled with sorrow for so many years. I am a living testamony to the Law of Attraction. My goal today is to attract the Light, to see the good, to be the Light, to share the Light. I want the Light to grow and the Darkness to fade for all of humanity. That might be a lofty goal, but, it is the best one I can think of to have today!

Tags: gratitude, Hope, Love, life experience by Deborah
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It is another Full Moon. On every full moon, I tend to give myself some space. I now know that I am sensitive to the phases of the moon, and am subject to slipping towards the darkness if I am not careful. Something is different this month, I have been focused on where I am going instead of where I have been. Since the event with Shelley Yates and the firing of the grid, it seems I have been on a steady higher vibration.

For the past several years I have been fascinated with energy healing. Maybe because I have known that I am aware of energy, and I know I feel better when I stay connected to the higher energy of Love rather than looking at the darkness.

I know the darkness is there. People seem to carry the lower vibrations more easily because there are so many folks that talk about what is wrong, what they do not have, rather than being grateful for what they have and what is right in the world. But, since the 11th of July, I have been full of hope for what the future holds. I am learning to stick up for myself, setting boundaries, letting go of those that bring me down. It is so much easier to focus on the good now, and be grateful.

I am starting a new job. I was just hired to work with the mentally challenged. Considering that I have felt that way for many years, I believe it will be a very rewarding way to spend my time. Helping others. I am ready to not have crisis in my life. If it comes up, I feel certain that I will be able to handle it. Life is good. I have been blessed to have survived my life so far.

I spent the afternoon with my grandson. We drove out to West Sunbury and picked blueberries. They are a very high vibration food. I love the taste. Lucas, the grandson, finds frozen blueberries to be a lovely snack. We had fun picking together. He kept saying, “Holy moley, macaroni!” every time he would find a cluster of big ones. Perhaps he ate more than he put in the bucket, perhaps it was the hot afternoon sun beating down on us, but, when we got back into the car, he told me he was ready to go back to Grandma’s house. He wanted to have some quiet time. Two miles down the road he was sleeping.

I sometimes envy his innocence, his awe with all he so anxiously learns. He is a thinker. A wise soul has come to live in my immediate family. I am so blessed that he is here, that he likes to come to grandma’s house. He loves whatever food I fix him. Always veggies, fruit, nuts & seeds. I enjoy the simple things now. And I love the Peace in my life.

I must be growing…

Tags: children, Love by Deborah
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I believe that we are being presented with  one of the most important of events this coming Tuesday, July 17th. On that morning, at 7:11 AM EST, I will be sitting in meditation directing the Love that I feel when I am doing what I love while on the planet, to the planet. Thanking her for providing me the opportunities to share what I came to share and rejoicing that fellow Lightworkers are doing the same. My heart tells me that Shelley Yates has a sincere message for all that truly want World Peace. Will you be joining? If you have not heard yet, go to www.firethegrid.org and consume the entire site. Then watch her videos on www.youtube.com. Just search for Shelley, open your heart, and listen Make a committment to be part of the change we all say we want.

Tags: Love, Peace by Deborah
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Finding myself once again back home, I returned to work for my dad briefly. Because I had lived on my own, been married, then divorced, I could not live with them again. I rented a room in a friend’s house. It was near a bridge which was used only by trains. I used the sound of the train as an alarm to wake me up. I always slept deeply there because I was frequenting the bars often. I referred to myself as a troll. I only stayed with him for several months and then got a job as a waitress in a new restaurant outside of town. I rented a house with a girlfriend who also worked at the restaurant. It was strange to live in the same town as my parents and not live with them. Cindy and I had great fun in that house and I began dating a guy from high school.

I got pregnant and the father wanted to marry me. I said no. I somehow knew that the marriage would not last and felt that I could care for my child even if the relationship did not. He made every effort to make it work, purchasing a home for us away from the city. We seemed to have some things in common; he had allergies, so, no dairy was in the house, he only ate fish as I did too. But, his main income was from drugs. Every day he would roll up some doobies for me and off he would go, I stayed home growing my child and being creative, doing ceramics, sewing all the baby clothes since I wanted to only use cotton. But, I was lonely, I was left there alone a lot. It was too far out for friends to visit and I wanted things to be different now that I was going to have a child.

My mom took me to her obstetrician, he had delivered me. He honored my wanting to have natural childbirth, he just wanted me in the hospital. I was due sometime in September. The night before my daughter arrived, I started to bleed. The father brought me into town early and we stayed at my folks until my mom said I needed to go to the hospital to be observed. It was a long labor. Hal was not much help, sleeping while I struggled to keep it together. The nurses thought I would deliver before the morning shift change, but, it came and went. I asked for something to help me relax and the nurse got me calmed down and focused on the task at hand. Early afternoon of September 9, 1976, my beautiful Sarah was born. I loved her the moment I saw her.

We went back to our home in that small town and she & I bonded. It seemed Hal was gone even more than before and I wanted to be around people. I was not allowed to have even my cat in the house because Hal thought Slick might hurt Sarah. By the time she was 6 months old, I was living in a tiny apartment above my parents store. We hardly saw Hal. I focused on loving and raising my daughter.

Because I was now a vegetarian, my family teased me. They knew that it would upset me, they would tease me more. In jest, when I let them babysit, they put Sarah in her highchair and took a photo of a steak and a can of beer on the tray., telling me this is what they gave her to eat. I never took teasing well. I wanted to run away from them and my hometown where I was different because I no longer wanted to eat meat & potatoes. Fortunately, Sarah was allergic to eggs and dairy, so they tolerated our many meals of rice and steamed veggies. Our favorite walk was to the City Market two blocks up the street where we would pick out fresh fruit and vegetables for the day.

I continued to pursue crafty things, learning macrame and basket weaving. I had lots of plants in the apartment because we had no yard for my little peanut to play. I painted her tiny room with a blue sky and grass, flowers and a beehive with bees buzzing all around. I was starting to read about a healthy lifestyle and thought about becoming a massage therapist. I subscribed to Mother Earth News magazine. Everything in it interested me, especially the Situations and Positions in the back. I wanted to escape.

I started running in the early morning before Sarah would wake up & my mom and I got one of the first rebounders on the market. I went to my 10 year high school reunion.

 The darkness would visit me. I felt stuck in a time warp. The only thing I seemed to have in common with the people I knew that were my age was alcohol and drugs. They came back with a vengence. I had absolutely NO idea that I had a choice on whether or not to do them. So, I did.

Tags: children, addiction, Love, life experience by Deborah
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My first year at Edinboro State College was a disaster! My grades were horrible. I hardly ever attended classes, spending most of my time either in the Student Union playing double pinochle or at the Fraternity houses drinking. Needless to say, my memory of that year is slim. My first semester in the dorm close to campus was filled with letters home to the folks declaring my love for a new boyfriend (they changed with the wind) and I would sneak out a lot to spend time Lakeside. I attended summer school and returned for fall semester to live in a new dorm that was across the great divide. I met a girl, Jackie, there. She and I shared the same birthday, and she was friends with the floor resident, Suki. I felt they were kindred spirits. I believe it was through them that I happened into a party one night and met Dottie and a whole new set of friends. Time passed and then I got the news that I would not be advancing to sophomore.  I sought counseling from school and after hearing of my experiences, the counselor recommended I get some professional help. College life ended because I had gotten a student loan and I could not get another since my grades were so bad. When I got home, I told my dad that I needed some help. That didn’t go over so good. In my family the solution to anything seemed to be ‘Don’t talk about. Pretend it didn’t happen.’ So, I never got any counseling until almost 20 years later.

Living back home, I worked for my dad in his store. I purchased my first car, a white ‘63 Rambler stationwagon for $125. tax, tag and title. The car represented freedom and most every weekend I would head back to Edinboro to party with my new friends. Actually, I was referred to as the ‘visiting cousin’ of the group. I was introduced to pot and it instantly spelled “relief” to all the painful life experiences I carried around. My drinking tapered off because I could laugh again with marijuana, and the alcohol left me with no memory. So, I looked at pot as a good thing. I experimented with psychedelics often and went to another level of consciousness. A friend gave me a “raggedy Andy” doll that he purchased from a thrift shop. I made some bellbottom pants and a leather fringed vest for Andrew and he was my constant companion, sitting beside me as I travelled back and forth on the weekends. 

That year ended with Dottie and her friends going to Ocean City, MD for the summer of 1970. Of course, I went along. My having a car was a great thing. No one else did, so, that summer at the beach was a magical time for me. It was where I met my first husband, Chip. When summer ended, I moved to Maryland outside of D.C. Chip was completing his college and I worked at various jobs. Getting stoned was a daily part of my life and also downers moved in. We would take drugs, drink cheap wine and play Chess in the evenings. This continued until I moved back to Butler briefly. This move caused a decision to be made between Chip and I. We decided to marry, so, I moved back to Maryland after the wedding. We stayed there until he graduated then we headed south to my favorite playground, Cocoa Beach, Florida.

I always seemed to think that things would be better when I moved. Little did I know that I went with me wherever I went and it never took long to find someone that had drugs. Chip and I eventually separated. I hitch hiked across the country with a girlfriend, returned to Florida & started living with a man who 9 years later would become the father of my third child. We split up, I was altering my reality on a daily basis. So, I moved back to Butler to receive my final divorce papers. 

As I sit and write about this timeline, I think, what a drama queen I was! I had no idea how to live a simple life with direction. I only knew self destruction, and I did it well. I seemed obsessed with all the bad things that had happened to me. Now I know that continuing to focus on the tragedies only brought more of the same. I wanted to end the insanity but I had no clue how. It sounds strange, but, while in the drinking and drugging phase of my life, I had totally lost the ability of CHOICE. When I did eventually go in to a treatment facility, the word CHOICE saved my life.

Tags: choice, life lessons, addiction, Love, life experience by Deborah
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I was only 15, a sophomore in high school, dating a senior who had a brand new 1966 GTO. It was April 1st, Friday night. I was working until 9 PM and told my dad that I was going over to where my girlfriend was babysitting afterwards. But, as soon as I left work, I rounded the corner and got into David’s car. It was drizzling outside and as we headed up Main St. hill a car pulled along side of us. He knew them, I felt the car accelerate. The other car pulled ahead of us and cut us off. The slick road and quick movement created the aweful hydroplaning. Moving in a circular motion, I thought we were heading for the water tower across the street. We ended up on the right side, wrapped around a tree, smack in the middle of the driver’s side. I was thrown into the back seat while he was trapped in the bucket seat, crushed between the door & the console.

I don’t remember talking to him, telling him everything would be okay. All I remember was the sound of buzzing as if we were surrounded by bees. I have no memory of the ambulance ride to the hospital. I woke up in the emergency room, my parents telling me I should not have lied to them. This would not have happened if I had done what I said I was going to do. Already I was accepting the blame.

For three days I asked to see him. When was I going to be able to go to his room and see him? Don’t come back unless you are going to take me to wherever he was. Then the nurse came in and gave me a shot. My dad handed me the newspaper, it was on the front page. He was dead. I was in the hospital. He was dead…we were not going to the prom. They had the viewing and his funeral. I was still in the hospital and could not attend. They didn’t want me to go to the cemetary, or to visit his family. I did. I needed to give his class ring to his mom. I needed to grieve, but, there seemed nowhere safe to do that. No one in my family would speak about it with me. I missed him. I hated that I was alive and he was dead. I hated that they spoke about it at school, not to me. They used it as an example of reaction time, some said that he deserved to die because we were going fast. I hated him for dying, me for not dying. People went on with their lives. They said that is what I should do.

Time dragged on. I went to school, but, was not there. The grief stayed with me for a long time. I punished myself for the next 20 years. That was the beginning of my drinking.

Tags: death, Love, life experience by Deborah
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